You asked for a critique, so why not give you one?
The remarkable syntax and word choice of this compelling poem opens up the door to the soul of this artist, showing the world that this cheese loving girly man is not shy about his desires and entices the reader to follow him into the dark-- I mean follow him into the-- yes, into the dark where he promises unspeakable things. And the rhyming! It soothes the soul after the coarse language that is the word 'hell'. All in all this is truly a marvelous work of art.
...I live to annoy the hell out of you. ilu lulzy!
ZAMGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOO KAAWAIIII DESSSUUUU!!! ^-^ Liek I'm cumming from all the sexinesss-chan desuuu!!!!!! ...Ah, what the fuck, misplaced fake weeaboon-ness That was a fail on my part. /shot
Anyways... LET ME IN ON THIS ORGY Because of this delightful poem, I won't even hesitate to get in your bed. I would take a giant dolphin dive in that mattress of cotton and hopefully not find Lego pieces hidden in it. Or better, instead of a bed, we can all have an orgy on top of the Empire State Building with flamingos. How does that sound? Oh, and we can also write cheesy poetry in the bathroom of the opposite gender... We can write gay (as in cheerful) poetry on the mirrors~ 8DD And then take turns squirting ketchup and other shit on each others ass Good job on this poem, you make me so horny for dat orgy.
That is the most demeaning thing I've ever heard? You are such a pig! No one is more sexist than you! How can people stand you? I mean women are not just toys that you can just go around checking off to your to do list, ya know. We have morals! And standards! We will not just jump in bed with just anyone! And ANOTHER THING-
Yep, I showed this to my co-worker today....it was my first day on the job and I used it as a humorous ice-breaker....he laughed so hard I thought he'd die. Thank you for making my first day of work amazing, Lulz! I lav you for everz and everz!!! *goes and crawls in bed and snuggles*